I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
