why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
