I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize