i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
