i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We just shotgunned beers for America
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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