i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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