I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
