Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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