I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Randomize
