yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
