I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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