yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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