How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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