i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
