I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
