as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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