I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
