Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
