I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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