I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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