I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
