does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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