i was born a porn star she said
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I need water and some morals
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
