im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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