It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
