Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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