you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
