It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
