I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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