It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
