Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
