dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's shark week go big or go home
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
