**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
