i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
