i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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