I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sober January is a disaster.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
