Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You pole danced in your parka.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
