omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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