Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
