pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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