the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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