I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
