His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
