please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
