Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
