i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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