no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
