phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize