Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
