His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
