ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
