Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
