And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
