just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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