ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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