so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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