You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
