I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
